Peter thanks for stopping by and your good wishes. I drop by Cheers sometimes just to see how you are doing. Someday you are going to make some woman very happy and she will be very lucky to have a man like you whether it be GW or someone else. You are a terrific guy and I hope you know that.

Ronmom I hope you are doing well and hanging in there. This DBing does take time and your ability to back off from pushing your H and have patience will play a big role. It is a hard skill to learn but it is what seems to work.

Things are going well between H and me although I think he would say things are real good but on my side things are OK but not what I want.

I have found H doesn't like me to make any reference to his affair or what he has done. To him it is just over and lets move on from there which means just forget about it and get over it. I still haven't learned how to get him to be more affectionate at times besides bedtime. I got playful while he was watching TV yesterday and he said "that I was trying to hard and thinking about US to much". He doesn't understand that what I needed from him was some affection. Its a womans greatest need right but he just doesn't get it. So I left him alone and watched TV and got quiet. Then he gets upset because he interprets my quiet as me being upset with him and asked whats wrong. I said nothing is wrong. How come he always wants me to open up and answer his questions regarding my feelings but he doesn't open up much. I think this is probably a man thing. He is saying I Love You sometimes and once said he was sorry for everything that happened. Once he even said he never should have done what he did. So at least that is progress.

We have another therapy appointment in a couple of weeks and I am thinking hard about what issues I want to bring up. It will probably be our last session for at least a while. I think this communication thing is important and I want to make it better. I also can't help but wonder if I can truly trust him. I still feel like he could backslide. One thing that really bothers me is that obviously he lied to me for a long, long time. He is now good at lying. How am I going to know for sure if he lying to me or not. I am sure these issues are things I am going to have to work through and time will help.

My PMA is still good and honestly things are going well its just that he has amnesia and mind won't stop thinking.

[This message has been edited by Johnswife (edited 12-27-1999).]

[This message has been edited by Johnswife (edited 12-27-1999).]