Greetings all from sunny California. It has been unusually warm here this week.

An update on my relationship with H is that we are taking little steps together. H has not had any contact with OW in two weeks. He told her then that it looked like he would be staying home and working on his marriage. I asked him a few days ago if he was going to tell her it was over or just ignore the situation and hope she just drops out of sight. He said he would tell her before Christmas that it is over and he is not going anywhere. I said OK.

Today our cellular phone bills came in the mail and H watched as I opened them and looked at the calls charged to our phones. He got a bit uncomfortable and asked to see the statement. I handed it to him and walked into the kitchen. He followed me a few minutes later and put his arms around me and said he was sorry. I asked sorry for what? He said for everything and that the next cell phone bill will not have any calls to OW on it. He says the calls stopped at the same time as the cutoff date on this billing cycle.

H has been very sweet and loving to me and does once again say I Love You. So progress is progress and I know this takes time and it will take more time to build the kind of marriage I want. One thing Divorce Busting teaches us is Patience.

I asked him the other day to listen to the first tape in the "Keeping Love Alive" series with me and he didn't feel like it then. So I asked him when he thought would be a good time. He said lets wait until after the holidays. So OK I am thinking he needs the next couple of weeks to really get to the place he needs to be to feel comfortable taking this next step in the healing process.

Another thing I learned from DBing is this rebuilding of our relationship has to happen on H's time table. He has come a long way in the last few months and we are headed in the right direction and that is what is important at this point so my PMA is up

My H like many of yours has always been lousy in the communication department and avoids any kind of conflict. This explains why he has been sending OW all the "its over signals" without actually telling her straight forwardly to get on with her life elsewhere. I understand this and it makes it easier to be patient.

Things are going better than I ever hoped a few months ago. For you newcomers watching this forum topic its like GG said under her new thread here. No matter what kind of crap comes out of your spouses mouth in the beginning you just smile at them and say OK and keep DBing. Stay focused and keep your PMA up. DBing works. (Ronnie are you watching and listening) It aint over till you say its over.

[This message has been edited by Johnswife (edited 12-20-1999).]