Been a little bit since my last post. A quick journal regarding a bit of a breakthrough.
On the homefront, I left it that WAW and I were at a bit of an “stall” on the next big step of healing (physical) that needed to happen. We were talking about it and that was good – and I clearly was seeing this as a love or fear reaction going on which was making progress tough at best. Well, anyway, Wednesday was WAWs 40th birthday – sadly she had to work, but I picked up a cake and we had cake for breakfast that AM – with candles and the whole bit.
She then went off to work Wednesday night. I put the kids to bed and then blitzed a whole bunch of moving/lifting/etc (especially stuff from the garage to the basement) knowing after Thursday, there would be NO lifting for 6 – 8 weeks. It got really late (she went out with her work friends after work) and I actually started to get kinda p-ssed. TMMW, our phone was out and she couldn’t call me. No matter, I finally bedded down at around 1:45AM. HRRMMMPHHHHH. Note, I'm not sure I mentioned it here, but I needed to have surgery to repair a botched hernia repair back in March of this year.
I nod off for a bit and I then I hear her get home. I told her Happy Birthday again (half awake) and then this n-ked body get into bed and says how about some birthday s-x! Without getting into details we COMPLETELY Christened the new house (twice) and dispelled any notion that we could not get our SL back. All the while her telling me that I have never k-ssed her like that, or done this or done that…..
I’ll leave it there. On our way to the hospital the next day, our mutual friend calls and WAW says, “oh yea, good night… and when I got home, Sven F—ked the sh-t out of me – TWICE!”.
Nice.
It was a nice tipping point to the whole thing. Still lots more to go of course…. The couple days we were in the hospital were tough – I don’t become a nice person when on heavier meds and while she KNOWS this, she doesn’t “excuse” it. Now, we’re (more so she) is stressed out with all that we need to get done on this house. I called her on it last night and she has been MUCH nicer to me since.
So we're wending our way along - too bad what happened last week cannot be repeated for a week or two because of the surgery - but it answered that huge question on both of our minds on whether we could get out SL back. But it meant a BIG surrender on her part I think. A really big deal.
Xue, I cannot help wonder if there is some of this going on with your WAW too - giving up that amount of control is huge and day by day as you break down that wall through your own strenght and integrity - must bring some momentum at some point.
In closing for this week - Happy Thanksgiving to all my US based BB readers - it might be tough to think we have lots to be Thankful for - but we do - a great group of support her and continued hope for reconciliation - stranger things have happened. Keep the faith.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
