I haven’t posted here in SEVERAL weeks it seems so a quick journal.
Well, there’s really not much new to tell. We closed on the “new” house back on the 22nd. We’ve been busy stripping wall paper from EVERY room and getting ready to paint. Still haven’t sold the old house so the stress is starting to creep up a bit. I continue to DR/DB, started bass guitar lessons (lifelong dream) so the spirit of GAL is alive and well. I continue to watch interactions, but it seems more and more that the wall is coming down….all the way down. I posted on someone’s thread (MMO?) that we have seen a resurgence of ILY when ending phone convo’s, etc. But what is great is they are doled out more "sparingly" if that makes sense which admittedly, I like and it keeps us centered.
The physical elements of the R continue to be a “challenge” – but its equally both of ours to address – meaning time an opportunity – any of you with three kids can probably identify. Don’t misunderstand, there is more and more “physical” stuff going on – hand holding, “cuddling”, and kissing. And, at the same time, I take NO issue with showing how much I desire her – not in a needy way, but more in a “this is what I want” way. Example, when I get home after work I used to give her a kiss on the forehead or cheek (and often that would be all she would “offer”). Now, I come home and I don’t go to her right away, but instead say hi to the kids, maybe mess with them a bit then I go up to W, grab her, spin her around and plant a couple kisses right on her neck or up to her ear. Then walk away. Fun stuff.
And she is funny….a couple weekends ago, while bustin’ hump on the house we’re selling (been painting and replacing old clapboards), we’re having lunch and she says, “okay, why is it NOW that I want to ML”. “you know, you look the best when you are out working on the yard..”. To which I retort – and you wonder WHY I want to start a lawncare business and get out of the corporate world?!!!!. And next time, I’m taking you up on it – I tell her I’m installing a lock on the bedroom door of the new house.
On the flip side, there are it’s moments, but I am amazed at how we both “recognize” and interact differently. Last Saturday I was VERY stressed because I was trying to get to the last things needing to be done on the old house. At the same time, I had some errands to run and some things that I had promised the kids to take them to. One of which was giving my S8 a ride to a friends house – which he insisted we do on the motorcycle – very cool and he was the coolest kid there, awesome. Anyway, I had lost several hours that day and I was frustrated. W could tell and she asked if I was in a “mood”. Before I would have said “no, I’m okay” – this time, I said “yes, I am. I’m f—king frustrated, I’ve got so much to do and blah, blah, blah.”.. She says “probably best to leave you alone then”. I calmed a little and said “I just want to be done with this house and putting some effort on the new one. To help you over there”. She’s appreciative and she sees me as human. A big change I think.
To close for now, we seem to be continuing along. Still way more good than bad and if we can start getting some physical stuff going….
One more quote from this weekend. We’re talking about how now some of our closest friends are going through their own rough patches. Two sets of couples are now very close to the possibility of D. Sad. But as we’re stripping wallpaper, W says “you know, it’ll probably be that X & Y couples get d’d, and you and I will survive”. Profound…..
Life is good. Onward and upward.
Oh, one other postscript – I, like Xue have been spending more time reading other sitches and chiming in where I can but the theme is usually the same – I do what I do for me, first. I’ve said it before and since I travel a fair amount, I love the FAA required statement by flight attendants that “in the event of a loss of cabin pressure, air masks will drop from the compartment above. Adults should secure THEIR masks first before helping others and small children”. It’s not selfish to go for self preservation. For me, most of you have seen my personal mission statement and one of the most important elements is I seek to grow in myself such that I can give to others. But I’ll never force myself on someone else. In the end, don’t give someone else the “mask”. Inner strength and happiness is much more attractive and much easier to share when in abundance. Okay, I’m way too much like Ghandi now….time to go…
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
– but its equally both of ours to address – meaning time an opportunity – any of you with three kids can probably identify. Don’t misunderstand, there is more and more “physical” stuff going on – hand holding, “cuddling”, and kissing. And, at the same time, I take NO issue with showing how much I desire her – not in a needy way, but more in a “this is what I want” way. Example, when I get home after work I used to give her a kiss on the forehead or cheek (and often that would be all she would “offer”). Now, I come home and I don’t go to her right away, but instead say hi to the kids, maybe mess with them a bit then I go up to W, grab her, spin her around and plant a couple kisses right on her neck or up to her ear. Then walk away. Fun stuff. 
And next time, I’m taking you up on it – I tell her I’m installing a lock on the bedroom door of the new house.
