Hi all. It has been a few days since I posted and I feel a need to tell you what is happening and let you help me with it.

H and I had house guest for the weekend so didn't have much alone time together. I am afraid that I got frustrated over the weekend and snapped at him twice when I really shouldn't have. I was frustrated because I do most of the work around here and expected him to jump in and help a little more than he did. Anyway this situation led to us having a little talk tonight that I think was good for us.

He asked me if I thought I could try to stop with the snapping remarks and I told him I would try to eliminate them forever but I wanted him to understand that even though he has said he is staying home and he loves me I still have lots of stuff going through my mind and I do not feel he is comfortable if I ask to many questions and this leads to frustration. Told him I am going to try to be patient and that I realize he needs a little time and space right now. We talked a little and what I learned is that OW no longer lives with her husband at home. OW is not happy that H is finding happiness at home these days. H states he has done all but come right out and tell her that it is over. He said OW pages him but he does not return her pages and has not spoken to her is about 10 days. My H doesn't like confrontations so he is hoping she just gets the message and leaves him alone I guess.

I explained to H that I felt he should tell me whenever he has any contact with OW. He agreed to do this understanding that I needed the openess from him so I could trust that he is telling me the truth. Then H says he now realizes that he never should have done what he did to me. The whole affair was a mistake. That made me feel a little better. It was almost like he was saying he is sorry for what he has done.

I told H that I never want to go back to the old marriage that we had and I knew he didn't either. I explained to him that what I am trying to do is build a whole new relationship with him and that it is going to take time. Also told him that it is going to take effort on both our parts and that it is important to me that we both find happiness and have our needs met in this new relationship of ours. H agreed.

So we have began to talk about what happened. One step at a time and one day at a time. Any advice out there?