It is a struggle but I remind myself daily that this is a journey. I did enough damage (as did she) in the past say 3 years of the M that waiting a little longer is no problem at all. Time, patience.
I've just been venting here regarding have R talks. I know that is probably not the best. And, I have my goals...and working on me is NOT a chore. Went for a nice mountain bike ride last night. WAW called me when I was riding (went to VM) and in that, soft, caring voice asks me to call on the way home - to pick stuff up on the way, but from the tone, I could tell she just wanted to make sure I was okay. I do some all mountain/free ride stuff and things sometimes get broken....
But, I am on a quest to lose the couple pounds I've put back on and go for lookin' fine during our vacation at the beach. I'm hopeful that this vacation may create or get us to another level.
And, as slowly says, sometimes the things that go on are not as DRAMATIC, but hopefully more sustained. Examples: she is still wearing her wedding ring - or her anniversary ring I gave her at the 10 year mark. Yesterday, for the first time in weeks, she put her head on my stomach to rest and be comforted (she had a bad dream).
The rest is slow, but like a good glue, hopefully more time and the bond will be that much stronger. The WAW is stressed out pretty good so that has her walls up all around. She needs to start processing some stuff, and putting things to bed I think before real progress will start to set in. Hopefully again, we will maybe take big steps forward during our vacation.
Beyond that, I still make it about me. Improving me as a person, and a father and husband. For that is what hopefully will spark attraction. I also know that I WON'T go through live in a loveless, sexless M. We DID NOT have enough sex in our M, and that has to change , and that is a big hangup right now.
Life is good. The sun is out.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
, and that is a big hangup right now.
