I'm just catching up on your thread. Slow going sounds about right. I really struggle to understand situations like yours....a spouse that is there, but not quite there. I'm not sure from reading your posts that she's committed to the marriage yet, but perhaps her head tells her that she should be, but her heart isn't quite in it. Glad to hear that you still have your focus on yourself and your improvements.
I admire your patience with this. I don't know how well I could cope with it. But perhaps your willingness to wait through her uncertainties, insecurities, fragileness, etc will pay dividends in the end. I personally would prefer being there for her as more of a friend living separate than enduring the together, but not together thing.
I never really experienced what you are going through so hopefully you are getting good advice on this forum. My only advice is to remember that you deserve a fulfilling life. Keep yourself happy and focus on your self-care and your children. She's still damaged goods that can hopefully work her way back.
Me
P.S. Sven, I'm not sure you really want to hear just yet where the relationship is at. I think what you need is time and taking things day by day. I would still keep R talks to a minimum until she's ready. Someday she might appreciate the efforts you've made for your marriage.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
