Thanks for checking in. For everyone else, some prose...
Journaling..
Hi all, been a while since my last post so a quick update….
Again, I guess when you get to “Piecing”, it actually means a lot more work…
I loved Frank_D’s diatribe – it hit it right on the head. And it represents some good advice really for all of us. Take a break from time to time – particularly from the board. Look, I’m not slamming it at all, I was looking back at my threads from December to February with amazement. But I realized also all the time I was spending there – and it can, if you let it get in the way of your true mission – GAL.
But beyond GAL, its also a matter of getting yourself together. Getting goals for your self but not just writing them, but living them and really searching and finding that inner strength that exists in all of us to keep plodding on. Mind you, it can be equally exhausting, but it gets you moving in the right direction.
My little life lessons.
Okay, back to the sitch. Like Frank_D, I’m not ready to call this a divorce busted, but there has been a change in tide over the past week. WAW and I are communicating better than I think we have in a long time. I’ve settled back into the house and some nice things are happening.
I’ve tried to pick up some of the house work (which I did do before, but was usually criticized on its quality so I did less and less). WAW has been acknowledging the help and not criticizing. This was possibly a direct result of telling her how unappreciated I felt. By the same token, I make it a point to ask her if she is okay but then I don’t walk away when she says yes. I’ve come to realize that if I stay there for a few seconds longer, she’ll start to open up. I don’t fear the same and have been opening up more. I’ve also asked for time to think things through when I am not ready to talk – “can I come back to you on that” statements have been working well.
We’ve been more physical lately and it is slowly starting to feel more natural. She is starting up a business and that has provided a nice opportunity for me to step up and really support her. I wrote the business plan for the thing and she was blown away.
So, thanks for following along so let me share the two biggest milestones yet. This past Sunday was my birthday and we decided to go to a big bar-b-q that is put on each year a couple towns over. As we unpack the car, get the smallest into the stroller and start walking to the event, WAW reaches her hand to be held. Been more than a year I think….it felt great. We hold hands a particular way and it was just….great. We had fun at the event, calling each other on the cell phone from different food lines (mind you only 50 feet away from each other) and tease each other on who is progressing faster. Funny stuff – we enjoyed the day – as a family. And she liked my new Harley Davidson boots I got for a song!
And here is the best part. Yesterday, I met up with her at our son’s baseball game. We’re talking for a minute and she holds up her left hand and she says, “I put it on”. There it is, her wedding band. She laughs and says, “it feels weird, you need to put yours back on”. I say “why, does the universe feel out of balance?”. She laughs and says yes…
Like I said, there is a mountain of work still to be done, but the path is getting clearer.
DB’g can work but I think like Frank was saying its not necessarily about saving your M, but saving yourself. When you do that, the results will follow. I might be living proof. Time will tell….
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
