Hi Sven - This is not easy at all, is it? There are so many ways to look at the facts in front of you, though.
What I sense going on is this continual “discounting” of me as a human being and I guess that what stings the most.
NG did this for about a year AFTER he ended all contact with ow. Then one day he discoverd something she had done which was underhand, went for a run, and came back and really looked me in the eye and said he did not know how he could have done something so horrible to ME. Until that moment, it was impossible for him to see me an a person. As someone worthy of consideration. He went through the motions, but they lacked conviction. It seems to be yet another rite of passage they need to go through. Sounds like your W is there, but not all there yet. The more you continue to be the honorable person, loving father, the more likely the affair will eventually emerge as what it is, something not worthy.
I did not give her a poem I had written for Mother's Day last night. I just felt it wouldn’t do any good.
Good move. Let her come to you. Btw, mystery works even in Piecing Even now, every time I feel things between NG and I going a bit umm predictable, I pull a mystery, and it wakes him up.
Even now, every time I feel things between NG and I going a bit umm predictable, I pull a mystery, and it wakes him up. 
