Your last sentence Slowly is perhaps the only reason I am here in Piecing and not in Divorced but not Done. Hopefully never to get there! I’ve worked really hard to be there as an ear for WAW and it is a lesson I learn every day and will need to continue for the rest of my life. Only as I have been able to let WAW see that I am there for her emotionally, to just open up that we’ve been able to get here. A really long road and MANY hurdles remain.
When the apartment is gone, I’ll need to be able to process things quicker as the opportunity to make space and time will become obviously much more difficult. I think I can do this – however, my hope is that as we work together making this M/R great, that the times she has gone to the “well” will be shorter and won’t require much distance for me. That said, I also plan to keep working out, running, etc. and that has been a Godsend. I don’t think I could have made it through January to March while the EA/PA was in real swing had I not. I know when I ran it made all things clearer and easier to deal with. And I ended up looking great too!!
With regard to the cocky comment, I think more than anything, she saw it as out of character for me. I’ve always been a humble person – to a flaw. I did not take compliments well, choosing humility over confidence. I now have the confidence and the WAW is still trying to figure that out. She has had a strong influence over me – too much so in some ways and I needed to break out a bit. She on the other hand continues to have a self confidence issue that now that I understand, will be that much more attentive to her emotional vacillations. In the end, I appreciated but did not apologize for the behaviour. Instead opting to acknowledge it and modify behaviour going forward. She may find it threatening, and that is counter productive to our improving our R, so an easy fix.
On the different agenda thing, that’s an excellent question and I am slowly trying to work that one out. I know she still has some lingering feelings for the OM (has told our mutual friend) but she likes what she sees in the new Sven. I don’t push R discussions (outside of the MC) so as to let us just move through space. I want to ask however if she has been in contact with him and have come close to doing so. So I’m forced a bit to walk the fine line with letting her feel safe around me without my sacrificing all boundaries. In the end, it remains on her to allow herself to “feel” for me. Well, more specifically, she needs to let her feel intimately for me since I know she feels for me in general (or I wouldn’t be moving home).
We’ve turned the intimacy thing into a joke where when she as one of those passion “flutters” as she like to call them, she says, “Oh, I had one of those flutters”. She then pauses and says (mind you jokingly), “don’t worry, it will pass”. I usually retort with “Of course it will” (also with a joking grin on my face). It’s usually followed by a kiss (and sometimes I’ll give her a light face tap too). All in good fun. For NOW.
Anyway, life is good. I have my goals, my kids, and a WAW that will, with time become an AWAW. Time, patience, strength, and honor.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
All in good fun. For NOW. 
