Sue,

Thanks for your insight about affection.. I think your comment about uncertain outcome is exactly her sticking point. She does not want to act as if in case there is a "negative" outcome.

I don't yet think that I can push this although I think that I do understand it. I am hopeful that as time passes she will start to feel more secure and come to realize that the affection that is missing is only one component of an otherwise excellant marriage.

I think the MC has already discovered this "blockage" and has started a plan to get through it. I also think it has not been until just recently that she has looked at other components besides affection in expressing love. Gary Chapmans book (5LL's) has been helpful.

For me the "act as if" has been to act as if we were more intimate. I do remember and can relive how I feel after "love making". At first this was tough mainly because I took the lack of affection and wanting as a personel rejection, now I accept that this is not the case.

Rich,

Thanks for stopping by.. I have been reading in newcomers but I get a little overwhelmed by all the new faces unfortunately with all the old problems and making all the same mistakes due to lack of understanding. One thing that I am sure of is that until I accepted my role in the situation and focussed solely on myself, I did not feel in control.

Rich don't give up on your W, time is a funny thing.

Jo,

Go on that weekend trip and have fun. Be the happy people you once where. Your H is wanting to build and improve your marriage, help him.

Chelsea,

I can't wait to read your new thread!

Chris