I had the opportunity to reread DB for the 4th or 5th time this Saturday. This read I may have got more understanding than any of my previous ones. The reason being I can now detach from my past and the self, that I have moved on from, and really look objectively at how I interact with my W.
At first I mistakenly thought that the DB techniques were slightly manipulative but now I feel that I have a much better understanding of how the techniques work. They allow you a range of different possible actions different from the ones that got you in the situation in the first place. The process of self growth and understanding is really about finding the actions that work for you. That make you into the person that can draw back the running spouse or forgive the pain the your SO has brought.
It takes time for you to "feel" the results of these changes in you. Once you are living these changes then they will have a positive affect on you SO.
This weekends babystep was a return to a routine of kissing each other whenever one of us was leaving.
Chris
[This message has been edited by ChrisJ (edited 12-07-1999).]
