You're doing so well...so level-headed. Ya know, the worst is over, your realization that it WAS PA (even if there's a slim chance it wasn't). That's the biggest kick in the gut, the discovery, the realization.
You've got work, and you've got to pull it together and put this away. Isn't that what we LBS's are so good at? Tucking huge emotional drama in our pockets for later, standing back up to move forward again? Use that strength.
I agree with confrontation, but also your tactic of waiting until a time where she will put forth the truth more willingly...if it's at a time where she's not ready...you're right...more lies.
Trust that you'll know when that time will come. There will be a moment when the door opens...you have the right attitude on your tone and how you should approach.
