I actually don't think that's fair. I think I have emotions and FEEL things because of my circumstances but I do a pretty decent job of maintaining my "stance".
You're right. I SHOULD have worded it more as a reminder NOT to be swayed by these circumstances. You have definitely stood firm through a lot, GH. I apologize. Stay the course.
Ok all, I am doing better. I have managed to calm down a bit. I still have that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that won't go away but I am rid of the constant thinking. Thanks for all your help and I will post when I can.
I havn't posted but I have been checking your thread each day
I like how you work this through this latest issue and you have a great bunch of people helping you
Quote: I really believe that this is only a problem if I make it one.
I think this is very insightful of you - and think the fact that in your later post you are feeling a little better -in your head but say your insides are still churning is a good sign that you are soon going to feel better in the pit of your stomach
you seem to be working out what is the best thing for YOU at this point in time that keeps you moving forward
I am sure that though you are sad and angry if this issue comes up later you can discuss it more from a view of disappointment than anger as you say this was something you thought happened anyway but I think you were really holding onto your w's words of it didn't happen - hence the big shock for you
it could also be that once she denied any PA she couldn't go back for fear of messing things up
I just want to say that this may not all be as bad as your mind is thinking - since I seperated almost 9 months ago I have menstruated twice (yes twice in nine months) after the first three months my dr had me do a pregnancy test though I told her I could not possibly be pregnant - so I did one and it was negative - I was right stress and anxiety was the cause I guess that a possibility is that your wife missed menstruating due to her stress and anxiety and was confused as to how she could have missed and was just checking
I guess what I am saying is that sometimes things are not as simple as we think them to be and logic can take us to the wrong end
you appear to be handling this ok it must be extremely distressing for you it is good you have people on here to talk to
You're doing so well...so level-headed. Ya know, the worst is over, your realization that it WAS PA (even if there's a slim chance it wasn't). That's the biggest kick in the gut, the discovery, the realization.
You've got work, and you've got to pull it together and put this away. Isn't that what we LBS's are so good at? Tucking huge emotional drama in our pockets for later, standing back up to move forward again? Use that strength.
I agree with confrontation, but also your tactic of waiting until a time where she will put forth the truth more willingly...if it's at a time where she's not ready...you're right...more lies.
Trust that you'll know when that time will come. There will be a moment when the door opens...you have the right attitude on your tone and how you should approach.
It's a new morning, a new day. I shot my wedding and managed to put this out of my mind. It went well.
When I got home, I admit I was probably a little pissy but that was as much because I had just worked 17 hours as anything. W noticed I was in a mood and called me on it. Surprisingly, I did not have the urge to talk to her. Like you all said, I will know when the time is right. I have known every other time and been right for the most part.
I just took a shower and then I was able to be my normal self again. I WILL be able to do that until the time comes to have this talk. I know it will probably come sooner than later but I will not rush it.
I am feeling 100% better than I was and I owe a lot of that to you all. It's not often I need talking down from the ledge anymore but when I do, I know I can count on you to do it. Thanks again.
Today I have a meeting in the morning and then I am taking the boys to Disney. W is going to get some things done around the house (hope she's getting THINGS done around the house) that she wasn't able to do when the boys were around yesterday.
I am going to be fine. I think I now know that indeed I had already known this to be the truth. I knew, forgave and other than now thinking I need an admission from here, nothing has changed. I will continue to DB and we'll see what happens. I will post when I can.
