Quote: I don't believe I suggested this. You seem to have very good personal and work related reasons to give it a day or two.
Ok, I guess I read into what you posted. I do have reasons to do that. I suppose I can just back-burner it until I have time to really think about it. I thought I needed to decide now what I would ultimately do but I think I see the flaw in that.
Quote: I think that you need to have an open, honest, caring discussion with her about this for both your sakes. I think you should in a very straightforward manner tell her what you have found and how you feel, including compassion for her.
I agree with this. I just don't think it will happen this weekend and when it does happen, I don't need it to be all about "what I found". Sure, I am openly admitting that I intend to be dishonest and you may not respect that, but I truly feel that if I introduce this evidence into the equation, it will give her something to focus on and rally her denial around. I just want her to be honest with me. If she does that today, then fine. If it's two days from now then fine. If I have to tell her I know about the test, then I will do that, but that knowledge does not push up my time table much if at all.
Quote: It is the easiest way because you are making it the case that it is.
I don't know if I agree with this. It is clearly NOT easy at all for her right now. In fact, if anything, my motivation to speak to her, and tell her that I know is TO MAKE IT easier for both of us in addition to expressing my honest feelings. If I thought it would do that, I would talk to her in a heartbeat. I know I am trying to predict the unknowable outcome of a future conversation that may or may not happen. I will try to stop that. Bottom line is that in my mind, waiting is better and more likely to lead to the truth sooner than confronting her will. She's been opening up more and more as time goes on. My admission of snooping (which is what it will be to her no matter what I say) seems like it will set us back weeks/months in that respect. I really feel that.
Quote: I agree that it doesn't really change anything. EXCEPT, it has forced you out of your own denial about what you want and need to move forward yourself.
Yes, and like I said, the only aspect of that which is truly important is that now I think I need her to be honest with me eventually where as before I was content to just "know" without confirmation.
