In a way I think this might actually be good for you. For some time you wanted to believe it was not a PA and this will force you to deal with your feelings instead of clinging to the possibility that it wasn't true.
I agree. That is what is affecting me as much as anything; the realization that I may have been in partial denial about this. I don't think I was but what I choose to do now will tell me.
Quote: Whether you discuss what you found with your W is really up to you. Sometimes we all walk around on eggshells for fear anything we do wrong will send our WAS even farther away.
This is one of the most important things for me. IF I can't deal with this and accept that I KNEW IT ALREADY so it changes nothing, then I have to talk to her about it. If I am going to be in a mood, walking on eggshells, etc, then this will NOT work for me. I don't know how it will go yet. I still have a lot to think about.
Quote: Remember, your W is probably under a lot of stress as well. It is possible that she was still sleeping with him even after her feelings changed. If he was violent toward her and is giving her grief about trying to repair your M, it's also likely that your W felt pressure to continue the physical side of things even after her heart wasn't in it anymore.
This is another VERY important thing in all this. I hate to bring this up but I feel it's necessary and I think many of you thought this too, reading some of what I posted about our R talk a few weeks ago. W kept saying that "If you knew the whole truth about this, and what he's done, you would be livid." She also made comments like "My dad would kill him." and other things like that. When I tried to get her to tell me what she meant, she refused, and later tried to minimize it and claim that she really didn't mean to say it was anything that bad. I suspected back then, and much more so now, that some kind of sexual assult may have occured and that brings a WHOLE new element to all this. I have no idea if that is what happened but it fits all the evidence. If that is the case, then she would be under terrible stress because she probably feels like she can't talk to anyone, especially me and dealing with that alone would be terrible.
Anyway, pure speculation. I don't know what happened but I do agree that whatever it was, either just a simple "I think I may be pregnant" or something more, my W is clearly going through something major.
