Thanks pmd. That's what my head says to do. Here's the dilemma...
Those of you that have followed me for any length of time may know that at several points along my threads I have posted that I knew my W had a PA and was not telling me, rather, insisting it was an EA.
I posted that at some point I came to grips with that and forgave her for it. I feel that how I react to finding what I believe to be evidence of a PA is going to either prove that I was telling the truth to you and myself about being ok with the PA, or lying and in denial the whole time.
IF I truly knew, then I should be able to "sit on this" for awhile and not need to confront her. After all, she's been lying all this time, and as much as admitted to the PA in our last R talk so what does this change?
I guess I always figured she would tell me. I never thought I would "find out" this way. I guess as much as the knowledge itself it's the shock of HOW I know, and also that extra visceral idea of her needing a pregnancy test because of what they did.
I am now face to face with it and I feel like this is my ultimate test. I am not feeling too strong right now. I still want things to work but more than anything, I want to know that THAT part of it is over, for good and I know I can't know that because either I won't ask/confront her about it, or she'll lie if I do.
I am going to have to decompress a bit. I will monitor the board for the next few hours but I am going to try to focus and get hold of myself. This is REALLY hard.
