Sounds like you took care of yourself here... Put it to the side until there was a better time to deal with it or it had passed.
It doesn't sound like it has passed.
I'm not sure what kind of convo you envision with W, but it sounds like you see an interrogation. I'm not sure if it includes bright lights or anything under the fingernails or not.
Anyway, you mentioned that the hurt questioning mode doesn't work very well. Why not try something different?
Take a real emotional risk and a step toward intimacy by sharing your feelings.
"Call me crazy W, but I was really hurt and scared yesterday morning. I woke up on a high note thinking of you in the red panties, but then I saw you in a shirt that I believe is OMs. I was crushed. It was really all I could do to keep it together for the wedding. To be honest, when I see that shirt and a few other things, especially when you wear them, all I can think about is you with OM and my fear about being hurt all over again comes bubbling up. I wonder if I am being stupid for trusting you. I'm scared to say anything to you because I don't know how you'll react."
