and then there are other times when I could tell something was different if you know what I mean.
No, what do you mean?
(1) She seemed more present and really into the sex -- a good thing, but doesn't in anyway guarantee an O.
(2) You felt her muscles contract blah blah blah... All of this can be faked.
I guess I am lucky to a certain extent to have been with a couple women in the past who were VERY open about these things and taught me a lot about what to and not to do. That's why I am reasonably sure that when it comes to the actual foreplay and intercourse, I am doing fine
First, this is pretty much what ALL men think. Second, pretty much ALL women fake sometimes and MANY do so very regularly. So, it looks like a lot of the men are just plain wrong.
And yes, they all say "Yes, but..." and go onto give evidence as to why *they* are the special case. Guess what.... They aren't.
It might be a big help if you could have a Beginner's Mind here. If I were your W and your confidence and ego were so obviously and tightly bound up with your ability to reliably induce real O's, then I would be very unwilling to be honest about any dissatisfaction in that area.
I can't imagine that she has a hot sex life with you that really gets her going and gives her great O's, but is one in which she has been entirely uninterested in for years. It does not add up.
