IS MY MARRIAGE WORTH SAVING???

[hurtingagain]

I had trouble falling asleep last night. I've started reading a book, "Healing the Shame that Binds You". Wow, it is right on for so much. My H dad died when H was 3. MIL said he was a womanizer tho she didn't catch him. His grandfather was the worst womanizer. Book talks about stuff cycling thru the generations of families.

Whenever Max felt insecure, anxious or needy, the inner event registered as sexual desire. Max turned continueously to sex to meet needs that sex cannot provide.

I can see this relating to my H. His business has struggled for the past 6 yrs and he is HIS ACHIEVEMENT. He's failed as a father with D16 in rehab and showing his addiction passed to her. Down deep he may feel guilt and lack of self-worth, though he consciensly doesn't know that. He NEVER talked about feelings, show much affection without sex. I believe down deep he's really in PAIN and trying to run from it. Too bad it still hurts, even when we know it's really about them!!

I woke up thinking how my D16 must feel seeing her dad kissing, showing affection with this other woman. I'm sure he's smoking pot and drinking in front of D16. It's just so unhealthy!!! Though we think we're grown up at 16, she's still a little girl (especially all that she's been thru to keep her from developing to her age). They say that the drug abuse stunts them at the age they started and she was around 14, then her sexual abuse by foster brother when she was 5. I hate that I have no control over what H does with D16 or in front of her.