Hurting, I'm so sorry to read about what your H is doing to you. He seems to be one of those rare WAS's who, instead of feeling guilty about what he is doing, is enjoying inflicting pain upon you.
At this point, I think you need to focus on protecting yourself. Personally, I don't think you're in an environment where you can continue to have regular contact with your H, as it appears that he is only going to continue to deliberately hurt you.
I think you should seriously consider going completely dark. He can't hurt you very much if you don't talk to him. Have someone else act as a go-between on matters relating to your D.
Unfortunately in custody cases, many judges allow children your D's age to choose which parent they want to live with. You'll find out more when you talk to your atty, but I can tell you that it will help if there is any way you can document the drug use. Unfortunately, in most states, the law doesn't place a lot of importance on infidelity.
Best of luck.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
