I'm sorry you are going through all this. But, to be honest, I am rather shocked at what is going on... I feel like I'm reading stuff from the Dr. Phil Show or something. GET REAL.
Your daughter is an addict. The living conditions in neither household are acceptable. The physical abuse (yes, slapping counts) on your end is NOT OK. The exposure to regular and excessive alcohol and illegal drug use on your H's end is NOT OK. You cannot control your H. You either need to find a different place altogether for D to live or make your own home acceptable. I'm also concerned about your own drinking. In most of your posts, you seem to reference circumstances in which a significant amount of alcohol is involved. Sure, maybe you aren't getting falling down drunk, but 3-4 drinks is enough to put you over the legal limit for driving and to impair your judgment. Neither should be occuring on a regular basis.
You are putting yourself at a significant disadvantage by not retaining legal counsel immediately. H has already used family income for his own purposes and has now taken possession, unopposed, of family property. I'm sure he would very much like to continue in this manner rather than see you receive fair representation.
To be honest, your entertainment costs suggest to me that you do have the money for a lawyer. But, if you don't, you should be able to find one who will work pro bono or with sliding scale rates depending on your needs. I would suggest contact women's centers and shelters in your area or maybe in Indianapolis for names of legal practices that do this kind of private legal aid. You can also check on state requirements for public legal aid.
In the meantime, disentangle your bills immediately. Get yourself off all joint credit cards. Get his name of the phone bill or get your name off and quit paying it, etc...
Step up and start doing what you need to protect your own interests and those of your daughter. Keep up with the support group -- that is an excellent choice! Find other things that improve YOU, and YOUR LIFE. Make yourself happy.
