I am going to give you some advise because I've been there and done that. I know you've been reading up on my sitch so you know that my H is my second H and not the father of my kids. Your D sounds a lot lot my son. Although my son's dad is a christian man and would not tolerate drinking. At any rate, my son was so out of control and I couldn't do a thing with him. He would get in my face and say horrible things, drink, got suspended from school quite often, etc. Under age drinking is a crime! And you will be held responsible if anything should happen. In other words, you could get sued. I dealt with this for so long that I frankly wanted to save my son, so I went to mediation with my attorney, my ex and his attorney to reverse the custody. My ex actually fought me on this because he didn't want the headache but we decided what I was doing was failing and he needed to step up to the plate and see what he could do. So I paid my ex child support. My son still throws this up in my face, but it was and I still believe with all my heart it was the best for both my son and my ex. My son couldn't bully his dad like he did me, and my ex became sympathetic with what I had been dealing with. My advise is be very careful with your D, if she drinks in your house, that's between you and her, but if she brings another under aged person in your home and that guest drinks, YOU are responsible!!! If your D is all about living with your H, don't fight it, let her. It sounds like that you're trying to protect your D from your H, but he's her father so he does have rights. Your H sounds like a disney land dad, I'll let you do this and let you do that. But the fact of the matter, if he is soley responsible, he will think twice about her actions and how this will effect his life style. I know it goes without saying, under no circumstances allow your D to talk to you the way she is and allow her friends to drink in YOUR home!!! Have you tried to get her into counseling? I searched and searched answers on what to do with my son, and the only thing I could do to try and save him was to let him live with his dad. My son didn't want to go because he ran a tight ship, but it was good for him. When his dad got tired of the ordeal, he kicked my son out, he came back to my house, tried all his stuff again, until finally, I took him apartment looking, paid his first month's rent and told him if he wanted to live like an adult, go for it! He is now doing very well because he now knows how hard it is to make ends meet and if you play, you have to pay. And, it should not be you that pays. I hope this helps.
