"The affair is really not much of the equation for me because I know nothing other than a deep friendship/love/complete sexual satisfaction will ever come of it."
A rather troubling statement. Deep friendship, love, and complete sexual satisfaction are cornerstones of a marital relationship. I completely empathize with you, but you do know that as long as you see OM as a shining example of "what could have been" it will be really hard to reconnect with your H (assuming he is willing to do his part). I'm not saying you should demonize OM, but it appears to me as if you are putting him up on a pedestal that your H could never hope to compete with.
At any rate, tell us more about your situation? How long have you been married? How long ago was the affair? What triggered it? etc.
Although many of us have covered the same ground, each person is unique, and thus their perspective is welcomed here.
Chromo
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
