A New Phase

[cat03]

I honestly DO think he hates me, has no good memories of me...

Until then, I am also worried about myself. I am so traumatized right now, I don't know if I can recover from this. It still hits me like a ton of bricks. I can't believe it's happening. It's so unreal.

Then I blame myself. If I had been a better W, then this wouldn't have happened. But, I think in ways it HAD to.

you are right, he still is in the anger stage, my H also thought that the whole time he was unhappy, I had to really get out of him to acknowledge that he did love me at some point and that he was happy.
I also blamed myself, and H helped too, but lets always remember that it takes two to tangle.
I so understand about you feeling like this is a nasty nightmare, that your real H is somewhere and this weird alien who poses as your H will go away.

But as you said, at some degree it had to happen, we both have learned the hard way, but we've grown and I believe we'll become better persons after this. This is a trial by fire, I believe that we go through this trials to become stronger by God's grace.

sending you hugs and know that you aren't alone))))))))))