I am so sorry to see you suffering right now. My best advice to you, is the same I give to myself when I am in your state. Try not to take any definitive action that will force a change in your M until you have regained control of your emotions and regained your own center. In the mean time (since that might take a while) please just do some really good things for yourself. Tonight I went to dinner and a movie with my D. It was lovely. The sky and the air too, a lovely summer night. Don't spend too much time alone right now. You just need to talk and write and walk and do what ever it takes until you are empty of all this pain and calm once again.
I will hold you in my heart right now. You have always been an immense comfort to me. You are one of the most wise DBers I have found, a truly amazing and insightful person. Whether you leave your H permanently or not, now is not the time to decide. You are hurting and reactive. Give yourself some time. Your H is hurting too. Acting out, and it's a bummer I know. But find YOU, regardless of H, and all will become clear. I am rooting for you. Do not despair. You are not alone.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
please just do some really good things for yourself. Tonight I went to dinner and a movie with my D. It was lovely. The sky and the air too, a lovely summer night. Don't spend too much time alone right now. You just need to talk and write and walk and do what ever it takes until you are empty of all this pain and calm once again. 
