I got your post on my thread earlier but the internet connection at the office is jacked up and I couldn't respond.
I don't know your whole story although you and I have crossed paths a lot. I only had time to read back through a few pages so I know I am still WAY out of the loop.
Two things struck me though and you know I'm not going to beat around the bush so here we go.
1) Withdraw some of the money OUT of the joint account and open up one of your very own. You have to protect yourself and that's a good place to start. So my first point is separate the finances or he is likely to take you down with him. DO NOT let it happen. As a plus this might also make him wonder what you are up to. Let's hope he asks....
2) You said in the past he has turned a blind eye to his own faults and highlighted yours. Let me tell you first hand that to wake him up, you're going to have to start taking stuff away. Namely YOURSELF. Start unraveling the ties that bind you. STAND UP for yourself. It will do wonders for you and is also very likely to give HIM that wakeup call he needs.
That's a start. Admittedly, I don't know the whole story though.
How long have you guys been married? I will try to get caught up on the history but you have been here a long time like me so I don't know how long that will take me
Another thought I have is that you have outgrown him. You have done a lot to educate and improve yourself. Your husband is regressing. That does not mean the war is lost. In fact, I think I would actually look at it as a sign that you are on the right track. You have an enemy that will always kick up a fuss when you are close to a breakthrough. So don't lose hope.
