Well you had quite a week I am sorry that things are rough right now. However, I am still quite hopeful for you. I think your H needs to get angry, this is a natural phase of his process. Remember that underneath every angry reaction is also hurt. Your H is hurting. And he will even be hurting about his own display of anger, because he really doesn't like to be angry or he would have done it more often in your M. It could be that he was just not prepared to deal with your feelings yet - it may have been too soon, too much for him. He may just need validation that his feelings are understandable, to know that you understand. I hope you will have an opportunity to express that to him at some point.
So meanwhile, Always, what are you going to do for yourself? Time to boost yourself with some loving nurturing pampering things for you! You need to be your best self, so that when that next opening does come with H, you will be READY. What fun things can you do for yourself today? This will make the most difference in your continuing PMA. It will boost your patience and understanding, and your self esteem. The work you are doing is important! And it has taken a lot of energy. Time to replenish yourself, take some deep breaths and prepare your heart for the next opportunity, whenever that is. You said:
Quote: I guess the thing I'm worried about is that his anger will fizzle to cold indifference where he's ready for a D. I hope not. But, at this phase, I can't even DB or anything,
Remember, alot of DBing isn't about him, it's about YOU. He has given you a gift of a little time for yourself. What are you going to do with this precious gift?
Hang in there always. I admire you so much. You are doing a fantastic job. Just continue to hang in there, and be really, really good to yourself.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
I am sorry that things are rough right now. However, I am still quite hopeful for you. I think your H needs to get angry, this is a natural phase of his process. Remember that underneath every angry reaction is also hurt. Your H is hurting. And he will even be hurting about his own display of anger, because he really doesn't like to be angry or he would have done it more often in your M. It could be that he was just not prepared to deal with your feelings yet - it may have been too soon, too much for him. He may just need validation that his feelings are understandable, to know that you understand. I hope you will have an opportunity to express that to him at some point.
