Yeah, expressing in a "healthy" way would be the issue. sigh.
Anyway, I used some of your words in an email to H just a bit ago (I'm upstairs, he's downstairs. Our M.O each night, sigh. Separate lives at night in the same house, mostly). Anyway, I briefly outlined my fears & hopes like you did, and got a nice reply, so thanks to you for the complete inspiration:
And I hope for exactly the same things. We aren't far apart on that. I understand your fear, which is why I have been so focused on not giving you anything to worry you or to make you feel like I am keeping something from you. That's why it is kind of difficult when you start treating me like I am holding out on you. It makes anything I do seem like nothing.
This is fixable. The whole thing.
Gosh, but I love this man, dammit. Be easier if we didn't, no?
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
