Hoo boy! I can soooooo identify with you, Always14! I still go through days where I wish I could've also had that falling in love feeling again. Eh! But, it passes, and one gets on with the business of real life.
I think your allowing these feelings to come out now, while your H is away, is good, and needed. No-one can continue very long, keeping these feelings bottled up without having a breakdown of sorts.
All the best.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim