You must have heard this already, something along the lines of the secret of a good marriage is you don't both fall out of love at the same time. Food for thought.
If you put your good and bad in columns, your bad column is longer. Careful!!! I know it's how you feel, let it out, let it go. Also remember that a negative focus will yield negative results.
Quote: I'm finding myself realizing that I just don't think I can do that acting stuff again....I regret my actions, I will take all the blame, but it's gonna be hard to go back to patience and blindness.
I guess I'm feeling lost at how to get out of the anger, the confusion, the lies, and rebuilding anything.
You've got plenty of time before H returns, you will have lots of ups and downs before you see him. Don't go back, go forward. Believe me A14, I know the feelings you are expressing. I've been plenty lost, and have not had the help of open discussion you have had with H. What helped me most was to quit focusing on it so much, get myself busy, find something to smile about, a little a time. I never understood detachment, until a good friend reworded it for me and simply said 'less consumed'. Such a little thing has made a tremendous change for me. I suggest you also get 'less consumed'.
You are a tremendous lady with enthusiasm for life. Concentrate on that!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
