News: Just found out that OW doesn't work here anymore. (H and I work at the same place). I think she stopped working here when I was on vacation. Explain H's sudden decision to "spend more time with me" and "interest" in our M? Is it sincere? Simply falling back on me b/c she's not around (but she is still in town calling/seeing)....I do know that she did leave a VM for H after I got back, upset that she hadn't seen him for days (since I got back) and hoping to spend time with him.
I'm being stubborn, but I don't want to simply be the one he falls back on. I have so many doubts and fears. Too early to think about these things now, since I don't even have a committment yet. Funny, moving out and reading posts of others reminds me of this invisible, subconscious phase that most of us LBS go through....in the process of self-awareness, forgiveness, patience, etc....we also tend to focus on M, our values and ideals of M and renew our sense of it. Though we're forgiving, we're also resolute in what we want in a rebuilt M, what we're not willing to settle for and what we are.
OK, on the whole, I had a great day where I thought little of all this crappy mess. It was such a nice thing! Enjoying work, friends and getting ready for some real goal activities that mean a lot to me.
