WCW...thanks. I think I will move back. It felt right before, I felt we made progress and H really turned a corner, and now this. I am focusing on me, but this just has me confused. I'm not reaching out anymore, no more than I would do for a friend. I can handle that, emotionally.
YET, I feel that moving back and not saying anything is like saying "I'm OK with the way you behave.." and maybe like chasing.
YET, I have no idea what stage he's in with OW....maybe the tail end and I'm not being patient.
I will continue to focus on ME....the big confusion now is to stay or leave when he gets back. Like everything else, the answer will become clear at that time.
Funny, the thing I'm scared of now is my loss of emotions for H at times. I have so withdrawn to cope with living with him and his rejection for months that so much of our connection is lost. I don't think of seeing him, hearing from him, even waking up next to him, these last few days. I don't think of him as the first person to tell exciting news....in fact, when we talk, it's hard for me to open up and talk b/c I feel, what's the point, he doesn't care and neither do I. I guess I'm scared of myself drifting away, too. So maybe moving in would be good.
