Well, had a nice time with friends last night, little low, but good.
This morning feeling bummed. I tried calling H last night b/c he had major success with a project that I found out about through one of the friends I was having dinner with...wanted to call since I knew. Left a message.
This morning, he had emailed about the car situation, and it turned out that I screwed up so it couldn't get taken care of. His email to me was terse and frustrated.....as it should be. One of the things he said he really hated in our M was that he was deeply ashamed at how "irresponsible and lazy" I could be in taking care of things for us and myself. I've been getting better at this stuff, but this recent slip, and another last week, is just a reminder to him that I'm just the same old person.
I apologized, said that I knew this reflected poorly on me, and he was just terse and said "it's OK." He has every right to be angry with me. He has acknowledged that I've gotten quite better in this department, but still.
From your post, SE and this, I realize that I've been driving myself crazy lately with thinking about H and the A. What, why, etc. Again, I'm looking outward instead of inward, and failing to see that I still have yet a lot to change in ME to be the person I want to be.
