Sounds good. I'm glad you are going to talk to a coach right before this meeting. I have not done so myself, but I hear it works wonders.
Anyway, you said the meeting was called because W has recently come clean to her family. Is this meeting with just you or the entire clan? If it is with all of them, I am really suspect about it being productive. I can't see why she would even agree with that since it's sure to be a lot of people pointing fingers at her. You participating in that seems like it would only make things worse. If it is just you and her, well then disregard and go back to the original advice.
As FOR these friends and family you have advising you, I would suggest that you cut them out of the loop if they are telling you to do things you don't want to do or don't agree with. They mean well but they are only looking out for YOUR best interest (they think) and will not consider anything other than your W "screwed" you so-to-speak. If there are some among them that can listen without judgment, then maybe they can help but I have found that limiting the number of family & friends that know is much better, at least for me.
