Now, as for your sitch, realize right away that things are almost never as they seem and NEVER the way the WAS tells you they are. No matter what she says, there are other options than divorce. My W told me that there was never going to be a reason for her to work on us and look, a couple months later, all of a sudden she's working on us, supposedly with OM out of the picture.
You have to keep that faith and then really put the focus on you. There is nothing you can do or say that will just "change her mind" and make her yours again. As hard as it is, you have to realize that in the end, she has to want to be with you, something that she does NOT want right now.
What will make her want to be with you? You probably know best what the details are, but overall, it's probably you being something close to the man she married unless you're unlike most of us and have not changed much since marriage.
If she comes back it will be to a situation that is conducive to her happiness, or at least that will be her perception.
Look, every sitch is different, but as someone recently said, they're all the same at some level which is why DB/DR work in principal.
As for your meeting to discuss the EA, I am a little confused. Does she live at home still? If so, then why do you call this a meeting? Also, at whose request is the meeting? If it is yours, be careful because as DB/DR says, R talk can put pressure on the WAS and is to be avoided.
Of course, if SHE wants to talk, then do a LOT of listening and very little talking. Validate the things she says ESPECIALLY if you don't agree with her. If she says "Our relationship sucks, we never talk, and you're terrible in bed." DO NOT react with "I thought we were doing ok, we talked all the time and wow, I think we have a GREAT sex life. If that's all you're worried about we can work this out."
The key is to NOT get defensive. My W and countless other WAS from the sitches here report that defensiveness on the part of their H's was an issue when discussing sensitive subjects. You need to make her feel comfortable talking to you and that you will validate her feelings/thoughts and not attack her for it. You can disagree with her but first make sure you aren't saying she's wrong for feeling the way she does. SO...
Instead, maybe you respond with something like "I can see why you would feel that way and where we could use some work. While I understand how you feel, I do disagree with you on some of it and would like to know more about xxxxxx."
Again, if you must have this talk, you need to be prepared to hear a lot of things YOU WON'T LIKE. It is extremely important that you don't react angrily or defensive. You need to listen, comprehend, validate, and then exit the conversation, hopefully a LOT more clued in to where things stand because you will have encouraged your W to share things beyond where she thought she would since she's sure you were going to be angry/hurt/defensive and act on those feelings.
It will also be a great opportunity to demonstrate your "new" DB influenced self.
Oh, and BTW, I would refrain from offering any more books to her. It may feel like pressure, control and you're being condescending to her for you to suggest that she "self help" herself. It's also giving the battle plans to the enemy so-to-speak. She's not your enemy, but at this point there is no benefit to her knowing that some or a lot of what you are doing comes out of a book. That info is on a need-to-know basis, and she doesn't need to know.
I wish you luck with tonight and let us know what happens.
