I am clarifying this for myself: My H does what he wants instead of what I expect him to do or what was discussed previously, and I go along with his agenda because it's too difficult to be self assertive. When I attempt to assert myself, he will deflect, making it even harder. In the end, there is an underlying issue for both of us ( he is equally non-assertive but covers it up through actions instead of communicating). If we can get to the issue...the compromising part seems easy.
Self-message to IHJ... Stay on track with what you want, express yourself, differentiate. Someone once told me, " If you don't have your own agenda, someone else will. " Rememeber that. And remember that my H is covering up stuff too when he goes off plan. Get to the issue.
