H does O and will ask me if I want anything else, but I find myself saying no, probably because I know it will take some time for me to get to that place, and I am just glad about the EC and the fact that we have a regular sex life and it seems like enough.
Sorry to say this, but isn’t this really your issue? He is asking, so why don’t you say something. What is it within you that does not allow you to feel like you deserve anything for yourself? Would it make you feel better if he just did something to you without asking? What if you didn’t like what he did? Then he would feel bad for forcing something on you. Men know well enough not to be too aggressive unless it is made crystal clear to them exactly what kind of aggression is acceptable, as well as when where, how much, how long, how hard and on and on.
The fear is that anything out of the norm can come back on them. We men see women as sometimes making up the rules as they go. Once we violate those rules, it can be damn hard to make up for our transgression, because women can harbor such resentment. Better to not take the chance.
This is just a communication issue, plain and simple. You issue is to get over whatever fear, feeling of vulnerability or low self esteem that may be involved so you can tell him what you want. I bet he would be more than happy to oblige. No man would ever turn down a request to pleasure a woman, but you’ve just got to tell him.
