LFL... My H's sex drive really comes from connection. I remember the first time he said " I love you " to me. It wasn't in the throes of sex ( which occurred with that HD ex-bf)--- it was after I visited with him his sick grandmother in the hospital.
There was always a prudish, anxious side to my H's sexuality. Looking back to those college days and having come out of that HD relationship( where I was accustomed to having sex all over campus), in contrast, my H would get nervous if I were too close to the window in the dorm. It was confusing but kind of sweet.
And our first sexual experience...well this was interesting. H and I were fooling around in the room. I was definitely ready to go further but was again waiting for H to lead the way. Just my personality. When that moment came, he lost his erection. I was like, okay, and got ready to leave the room and that's when he grabbed me and off we went.... Later on he told me it was because he was still having feelings of attachment towards his old gf. I was very tolerant of this because I was going through my own personal hell. Well, "they" ( whoever they are)say that rebound relationships don't work out... but we really were on the same wavelength and got each other. We also had a lot of fun. At the time I was more of a type 1 perfectionistic, compulsive, worrier, and H's laid-back style was new to me. I helped H to focus and he threw me off schedule a lot. We'd go camping in the Georgia mountains and just take in the scenery. We'd go to parks and have chocolate banana shakes. I guess I began to picture a family with him.
Okay, I went off on a tangent....just giving some history to try to figure this whole thing out.
Oh and Hairdog, I'd love to scoop you up and take to to the show...but you are decidedly male.
