Karen, I guess the question is how do I reclaim myself in the context of being married to a man who suppresses my sex drive...even when we have an active sex life.
From my last post ( and following along on the theme on Jenny's thread) I feel my H is a beta male who needs some drama or spark to become passionate. The drama often comes in a blow up fight or meltdown which is just not healthy. If I create drama in a more sexual kind of way, he is overwhelmed and not responsive. We go back to this very safe, connected sex stuff which is nice but doesn't give me the opportunity to express myself...we then have a regular sex life, but I go LD.
My first step is to start from the beginning ( from 3 yrs ago,when I reclaimed my sexuality) and go through those steps again. I have a responsibility to myself to keep that spark within me going. I have been feeling so blah lately and it's up to me to create the tingles. It's not all H's fault as there are various stresses on me that affect my libido.
So plan one is to get my sex drive going. I already have a blueprint for this and will follow it...take sensual baths every nite, read something erotic...I picked up an Ann Rice Vampire book and got tkts to L'Estat on Broadway...that should stimulate my senses. If H doesn't want to go I am sure a friend of mine will. I am considering restarting a low dose of the antidepressant Wellbutrin because it helps me to feel the orgasmic contractions and get more selfish pleasure out of sex. The harder part will be to incorporate H into all this. I am hoping that through therapy he has gotten to a more open place and will enjoy my energy. If not, I may just have to accept the way things are and just do these things for myself.
