Quote: J, Were you sexually submissive to H when you first began your R?
okay, Dr. HP, the simple answer to your question is no, I wasn't submissive...I was the HD one, in an indirect ( i.e. non- aggressive) manner.
Now some details... I met H in my junior yr of college---we were standing around with a group of people and I thought he was shyly handsome. I was immediately attracted to him which is a rare thing for me. I remember going back to the dorm that day and telling my friend I met a really cute guy. As it turns out, H and I were in a class together---we began to sit next to each other and talk as friends. There was an undercurrent of attraction there, at least on my part. There was also added drama in that H had recently begun to work out in the gym with my ex-bf, the guy I dated since the first week of college, my " first", love of my life, etc...who was most definitely HD and who really got me going. Ex-bf was angry with me ( and H) about our new friendship, which of course added fuel to the fire.
Our first date was when H made the "bold" move to ask me out for pizza. We were commiserating over the failures of our prior relationships ( H was hurt by his gf of nearly a yr who dumped him for "running hot and cold". He talked about how he would do things differently in his next relationship ( hahaha...joke's on me). I was devastated by my that ex-bf, had no interest in others til H sparked my curiosity.
Anyway, one evening H and I spontaneously decide to meet at this dance club where college kids went. I was very revved up and excited...I went with my friends and just lit up when I saw H. We were about to talk and a strange thing happened---a girl ( whom I didn't know) came up and kissed H! I turned away, obviously upset, did not know what to think. H came running over, telling me she's this wacky, flirty, drunk girl who means nothing to him. He must have been stirred up by my display of jealousy/emotion and passionately kissed me! And thus began the start of our sexual relationship.
I think H and I would have continued on and on as friends had there not been a catalyst, despite my sending out those "I want you" vibes. And I wasn't aggressive enough to " go for it first."
