Well, I feel my sex drive is a little like Star Wars drama... " Journey, don't give into the dark side." Actually, on the plane, there were a few little kids talking about the dark side with such authority, like it's a real place and all...was cute.
I went to bed last night and my H did initiate in the familiar, non tantalizing way, and I found myself drifting off, thinking about how I can make this better for myself, also feeling a bit of self pity and apathy as well. But I stayed connected to H and turned it around in my head, thinking that it's so nice we have this loving, peaceful sex life now, and then an interesting thing happened: he stopped and began just really touching me, feeling me...it was so simple, and I found myself aroused and into it.
So bye-bye to the dark side...this is better.
And afterwards, H asks me...Are you satisfied? Do you feel cared for? Very sweet, very tuned in.
I still miss my HD self and I am hoping I will get the chance and motivation to bring it out.
