Choc... I still say my H wins the conflict avoider award...you are here on the board trying to get help...unless your real intention is to make us women think of chocolate and rev us up....
My H just called. We had a talk about my needing to experience the melancholic nostalgia with my girlfriend ( IOW, cry our eyes out). We came up with a plan where I would go to my hometown tomorrow by myself and that he would come with me the next day. He joked that he could handle my emotional state but first had to stop off for a drink ( I think he was joking). So once again, instead of living in separate worlds, he is making an effort to " get me" and keep the connection.
Jenny... I do think that my H had a lot of anger/resentment of me that he had to work out. I know he felt abandoned by me ( and had these feelings about his father) so that added to the situation. And...when I did discover my libido, it did come in the form of dark sexual fantasies, and he felt it wasn't about him. In this way, he was more like a narcissistic 3 or repressed 9 rather than a distracted 7( if that's the way 7's become LD).
Now that we are functioning more healthily, I do see that his desire comes from positive connection ( which unfortunately doesn't get me going). So I am back to being the LD one but with a big difference...I am enthusiastic and have not rejected him at all ( and won't again). I like the fact that he feels he needs the sex now and initiates several times per week...I am not complaining. This is good for us. But I am a little bored.
I think your H, as a 4, will be motivated by drama and dark stuff. And that takes some time to drum up. So I see your sex life as having less frequency than mine but more passion if left solely in our H's hands.
