Do you think that part of your husband's LD may have been due to feeling like I have felt- that the Type 4 sex drive is more motivated by the negative or dark than the positive or jolly aspects of sex? I mean do you think that he may have been, perhaps subconsciously, playing hard-to-get in order to feel some positive desire from you aimed at him? I hate to admit it but I've been tempted to behave like Barney in order to get the reaction I want. Also, I have a very cynical theory that it might be necessary for me to go through a Siamese Twin phase in order to truly be able to forgive my H. Sort of like I can't trust him to not go LD on me again unless he experiences for himself the misery of being the HD partner. However, my more rational, optimistic side hopes that we can naturally evolve to a place in which I sense that he is being more positively motivated towards being sexual with me so I don't have to feel like I constantly have to be ready to play out the Schnarchian "going to the bar" scene in order to feel reasonably confident that my needs will be met.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
