Jenny, My H does have a lot of 7 type traits...he has the distractibility, spontaneity and fun side to his personality. He also has this relaxed, laid back, Zen type thing too and a lot of repressed anger, like a 9. Also, because of some issues with his father, he can be like a 3, driven to achieve. People are complex, but one thing I can say for sure: he is a conflict avoider.

So how did he handle my LD? In the early part of our marriage the frequency was still pretty reasonable... whatever that means...I'd say once a week or every other week. Then we had kids and a real drop-off ensued...he has told me he would MB...he tried porn a little but is mostly repulsed by it...he did a lot of the GAL thing. The kids were small and we were still emotionally connected. I didn't feel anything sexual but that was alright by me and I figured he was okay with it as well.

Then, a few yrs ago, I really began to feel a change in the air at home. He was there but not there. Over time, he had become successful at work, surrounded by a mostly female supportive staff, and his appearance had even changed for the better. He outgrew some of the awkward, nerdy stuff, began working out, was developing more confidence, and my feeling is that he was having some sort of EA or PA, although I couldn't find it. I didn't know NOPs and didn't do some of the things he suggests...it was a feeling, but I didn't look all too hard, maybe I wasn't ready to. But, I do believe some woman at the office had his attention. He was cold and distant in bed, and neutral in his interactions with me, and sometimes irritable as well.

At this time I was going through a hard time myself...illness with my father, turning 40, feeling emotional/depressed a lot. I sought help and I began a project to relocate my sex drive. My brother and sis-in-law took our kids for a vacation and I wanted to use this rare occurance to reconnect sexually. Which we did...but it didn't last. I felt my H's anger/resentment although he denied feeling this way.

And that's when I came on the BB... my desire had never been higher, and my H was being withholding. And you, my dear BB friend, followed the rest.

And to the girl who possibly had the affair with my H...well, F-YOU!!!!!!