Quote: So IHJ's H wins the conflict avoidance award on this BB.
For some reason, I have an odd sense of connection with your H. This is probably because I have some of the same issues with my H that your H has with you (at least as you describe things and given the fact that you are probably a far higher functioning Type 4 than my H and also I would have no problem with your kinky fantasies since I am a Type 7 rather than 9) and also because I am a big conflict avoider myself. Though in my case this is probably due to the constant disrespectful fights in my FOO rather than the habit of tense repression your H experienced. OTOH, I feel like your H is a big mystery. For instance, when you posted that at one point in your marriage when you were actively LD, you went for a year without sex and your H never directly addressed the issue. The question I asked myself was "Where was he? What did he do with his, as you have described, normal level male drive? ".
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
