MWD is a proponent of SBT, and part of that is we can search for the "why" of our inefficient or harmful behaviors until the cows come home but the important part is changing the behavior to something positive. So don't get distracted by what that says about you, just change it if it needs changing.
With all due respect, I differ on this point for one simple reason. As I stated above, I bet 10-to-1 this comes from her FOO. Some people have very traumatic and scary experiences that they never want to bring up or relive. While I think those need to be worked through, I can understand that resurrecting them can do little more than open old wounds.
I am not as familiar with Heather’s past as you, but I don’t recall anything so traumatic in her FOO. To kids, some things seem so scary, so enormous, so overwhelming. These things can set up patterns of reactions that continue right into adulthood. The older we get, the more we forget why we react the way we do. All we know is that we do. As adults, if we can go back to those scary times, we may see that they are not so scary anymore. We are now bigger, more capable and powerful, so what scared us when we were young does not seem scary anymore. All of a sudden we can shut down our anxiety because we have conquered that fear. It may take little more than just making the connect for us to put the emotional reaction to rest.
Of course there are other issues that may take much more work to overcome, but if it is an easy issue, one generated only by our size and weakness as children, and confronting it may be rather easy, why not do so? But we never know until we dig into it, so that is the paradox.
The consequence to not confronting our fears is that we stay stuck in the same rut for years and no matter how hard we try different approaches, the same hurdle keeps coming back. I see many people on this board dealing with that very issue because solution-oriented brief therapy does not nail the door shut for good on these kinds of matters.
