"Chrome, ugh. I understand how you feel. It's really hard to feel these things....it makes it somehow feel better to know there are other good people out there who have done stupid things. We've owned up to it and are trying to pay the price. We'll be ok."
Agreed!!!! Part of the self-esteem cycle is forgetting that EVERYONE does stupid things. The Bible (not preaching just recognizing that it does have wisdom) tries to remind us by saying "all have fallen short." I find it comical and sad how quick people (mostly devout "christians") are so quick to degrade people who have A's. An A is a mistake like any other. Granted, it can have more devastating consequences than many other mistakes, but I have noticed that a large proportion of those negative consequences tend to be felt keenly by the people having the A (with the exception of people like BF's OM). I am of the opinion, having felt those negative consequences, that for most people, those consequences are punishment enough, and far be it for me to heap any more on top of them. I think I'm starting to ramble.
You are right in your latest post about how people who have A's do make conscious choices along the way. There is a mental fog that typically surrounds those choices, but they are choices nonetheless. We don't excuse the drunken driver for causing an auto accident because he/she was drunk. I liken that foggy state to the state of mind people are in when trying to attract the opposite sex at a young age. I'm sure most of you did something completely stupid trying to impress someone of the opposite sex at some point in your life. Afterwards, you think "why in the world? How I could I possibly decide that doing that was the right thing to do?" That is kinda the way you feel in an A.
"Chrome, I certainly hope I didn't offend you with what I said. That was not my intent at all and if I did, I apologize. I know you've struggeled with your own demons on guilt so I did not mean to dredge anything up for you."
I'd say LOL, you must be joking, but this statement is revealing to me. When I first read this, my reaction was "what in the world would make you think that you offended me?" But I see now how you are stuck in over-sensitive mode, brought about by the R you currently have with your H. I know and understand that mode. Let me tell you Heather, you need to get out of that mode if you ever want to be able to set firm enough boundaries to help move your M forward. Let's start by saying you never have to apologize to me again. Deal?
Chromo
p.s. Unless of course you start calling me ugly names, but then I'll probably just laugh anyway.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
