From his actions, Heather's H SEEMS to be very 'not emotionally strong,' insecure and angry. I don't know you from Eve, LFL, but somehow I get the feeling you wouldn't hold your H's A over his head via not wearing your ring, keeping him out of your bed, and throwing tantrums and the like for 2 whole years.
Another poster wrote a great post about forgiveness (sorry, can't remember who right now) but it does go back to you being a strong person Youself before being able to have a strong M (I think). I ultimately chose to forgive H because it is in the best interests of all of us.
An emotionally weak or insecure person would take the Mr.Heather route and hold it over her head for 2+ years. That is not Heather's fault or doing, that is his choice and I find it totally destructive. If he cannot get out of that frame of reference , the M has little hope to survive.
Look, I certainly struggled for along time with my own feelings and I'm still working through some issues. But considering we have only been back together (officially living together again) since October, I think we have made amazing progress. It really was all a mental "game" and one that I feel like I am winning. IT helps tremendously that H is just a great guy and I know that about him. His horrendous mistake/decision to leave is not representative of our M. BUT, some issues are, like the SSM, so we are tackling that one now.
Oh! Mojo is going to grumble when she reads this but last weekend I had H attempt the "breast O" trick. He was very apppy to oblige. Couldn't stand it after a while because while it made me super horny I jsut couldn't push it over the edge with just the boobs. But as soon as he touched me "down there" I just about exploded. So there you go. A little LFL sexual escapade for the week.

Honeypot. Oh, Honeypot; yet another alpha F. Sigh.

I agree with LFL. I would not want to see a crying wreck of a man. Most women wouldn't. I think you are confusing the fact that women want to see emotional from men, as meaning they want to see men emotionAL.

Women do NOT want to see men acting like women! It turns us off and goes against the laws of nature.
See, Honeypot knows of which I speak. We want emotion and yet it has to be the right kind, in the right setting, not too much, not too over the top, you get the idea.
We're difficult to figure out. And we like to change our minds a lot too. So keep up!
Honestly, I can't speak for HP, but I never have really been around men who cry easily. Don't think I've EVER seen my Dad cry and maybe H once or twice at most. It doesn't turn me off as much as I just get shocked by it I guess.
Like you were saying about the F bomb though, you notice it more when it isn't doled out all the time.
Hmmmm....
Too bad a swear like a sailor. Not as effective guess.