I see no need for any of us to defend ourselves regarding the credibility or reliability of our advice. The quality of the discussion here speaks for itself. Stig stands out in the caliber of his thoughts. I personally see not need for him to defend any parsing of his words. Furthermore, this is a public forum and no claims are made to the quality of the advice. We are all laypeople in this relationship field, but had done plenty of learning and our own experimenting. This is no secret on any of the DB boards.
I believe everyone who has posted on Heather’s thread has only the best of intentions and has been completely honest in what they have told her. It is up to her to decide if this is so. Heather is a big girl and capable of handling herself. She also has a counselor to help her. She writes well, conveys her thoughts is an organized manner. I have no reason to think she is impaired in any way. Do you know something we don’t?
Two years of stalemate in her situation may bring into question some of the other advice she has received. On the other hand, this is not an unusually long period for a couple to be struggling with relationship problems. How long do you think it should have taken to “fix” this marriage? In fact, how do you judge the quality of the advice given? You are concerned she might follow some advice for too long. How do you make this determination? How do you distinguish good advice from bad?
Like Stig, I wonder about your agenda. You say you only personally know her through a conversation. Did you two meet on one of the DB boards? If so, you are just an internet acquaintance right? So what is your vested interest? Perhaps she struck a cord with you, but if so, there is some need within you that Heather may be filling. So how do we know your intentions are true? I remember Monica Lewinski thought Linda Tripp was her friend at one time.
You may not be doing her any favors by talking for her. I think Heather needs to grow emotionally, detach and stand on her own two feet. The last thing I think she needs is to hide behind someone else. Sure she needs a support network, but from what she says, I think she already has that. Do you have a support network?
